The start of it all

I don’t remember very much. There are songs I really like but the names of them are alien to me. Likewise with bands, or the people that comprise them. Poets, writers, sports people, all of them. I don’t remember doing things. Huge swathes of time are a fog of guesses. People could tell me I’d done something and I’d have to at least consider it, not remembering is not proof for me. The things I do remember are half truths and composite realities anyway, so I just hunch  my way through. I’m sure that drinking and drugs don’t  help. But then how much do I really want to remember? I don’t think I’m missing much not being able to recall things. That time when that friend did that thing. If it made me laugh at the time then it was enough. Reminiscing will get you no where.

Sun Denial

I try to forget because I don’t want to remember

To remind myself about the warmth of the sun

The smiles of my friends and their laughter

For that was before and all I feel is after

 

I can’t see the time in this eternal December

Change cowers, too frozen to come

Melancholy snow drifts gather

Hiding with me from the glow of the sun

 

So long in this winter glade of solace

I took fright of the fire I saw

Any sunlight without or within

All passions excited remorse

 

So when the sun slips through

Making shadows of my world

I see how much time has abandoned me

And I am yet unfurled

 

Sitting in my chilled isolation

I forget the warmth and the laughter

All my joy in summer’s embers

The last thing I’ll ever remember

 

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